Vaseline and Cornstarch: Complete Recipe (Step by Step)
Disclaimer: This is a cultural ritual, not a scientific breakthrough.
Ingredients
- 1 jar of Vaseline (petroleum jelly)
- Cornstarch
- A bathroom counter
- Confidence that outweighs common sense
Step 1
Open the Vaseline jar. Stare into it briefly as if it holds ancient beauty secrets passed down through older cousins and early internet forums.
Step 2
Scoop out an amount of Vaseline that is either clearly too much or definitely not enough. Precision is not part of this process.
Step 3
Sprinkle cornstarch directly into the Vaseline. Do not measure. Measurement would imply adulthood.
Step 4
Mix with a finger, spoon, or whatever is closest. Continue mixing until the texture feels “right,” a term defined entirely by vibes.
Step 5
Test a small amount on the back of your hand. Nod approvingly, regardless of outcome.
Step 6
Apply for the intended purpose, which may include but is not limited to:
- Mattifying something that was never meant to be matte
- Fixing a problem that may not exist
- Proving a point
Step 7
Experience the transformation. You are now 16 years old. Time, responsibility, and age are temporarily suspended.
Step 8
Tell someone else about it like you’ve discovered forbidden knowledge.
Recipe complete.